On the subject of woodworking – this is Beth’s current project, for an art gallery thingie we will be taking part in March 28th in NYC at the Genuine Artikle – the theme being birdhouses.

I know, I pimp her works often – but she is my girlfriend, and a very talented girlfriend who has been having a very bad week. You really should go to her site and show some love – drop comments, look through her artworks, just say “hi”, bookmark her, subscribe to her feed…

Her site is here: BethalynneBajema.com

I’ve got commissions to get back to, and parts to wait on, so I probably won’t have much to post here this coming week other than the fruits of my procrastinatory expeditions into the aether.

Tonight, I set out to make a quality wooden box out of hard maple – a rather heavy and dense wood.

I might never have mentioned before – and by “might” I mean “certainly” of course – but my dad is an expert carpenter and crafter of wood things.

I also may not have mentioned, that I never really watched him closely enough; Though I did manage to learn a number of useful German curse words, in German, those only helped me out just slightly in tonight’s endeavor, in English.

I have mentioned before, that I recently lucked into a nice horde of wonderfully dangerous toys, all of which cramped into a wonderfully cramped and dangerous little workshop which I lovingly call “That F%^ing cramped and claustrophobic hellhole of certain impending doom where I am constantly banging my head into the doorway and various sharp-edged light fixtures”.

The circular saw, is not as good as his circular saw – which I do remember having been able to cut things much more precisely with. I really do not like the guide, which was specifically designed to make one wish they had gone $50 higher for the one with the built-in laser guide. So, after a few botched cuts, I turned to the table saw… a wondrous and splendid tool that does certainly manage to scare the living hell out of me.

I did succeed in leaving that stage with my hands and feet still well-connected, a feat I do hope to repeat on future uses – but I somehow ended up with a room full of smoke due to the density of the wood, leaving me to believe that I might have done something remarkably and ingeniously the wrong and dangerous way.

The boards did however cut exactly how I wanted them this time around – good enough I say!

I know that I want to be able to take the router to the edges, so screws and nails were out of the question… I want my connections to be more hidden and solid, and have no idea how to make those nifty little dovetail joints… something which could have been remedied with a brief internet search… That, however would not have been as satisfying.

Instead, once the wood glue dried on my sturdily-clamped wooden box, I decided to unclamp it, drill holes, and insert dowels; In this method, I managed to find just the perfect sized drill bit to make insertion of the dowels about as close to impossible as it could possibly be – without setting off those annoying common-sense nodes in my noggin.

I needed a nice hammer – and I found just the thing – A large and heavy hardwood bonking mallet – at least that is the technical term. So, I added glue to the dowels, and went to hammering.

Little did I know that a large bonking mallet could do as much, possibly more harm to a human hand than a standard metal hammer could do. Good thing I am right-handed, else I would have nailed my good hand with the thing.

So, now I have a large gash and a blood-blister the size of Uruguay on my swollen thumb. I do however have the World’s most stable and indestructible wooden box as a reward.

Tomorrow, I set out to make a lid for it – then there will be routing, and sanding, and hinges and brass things added – leaving me only the task of figuring out what the hell I made the box for…

… or maybe creating something to fit in it.