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Midnight Wood and a Blistered Hand

Tonight, I set out to make a quality wooden box out of hard maple – a rather heavy and dense wood.

I might never have mentioned before – and by “might” I mean “certainly” of course – but my dad is an expert carpenter and crafter of wood things.

I also may not have mentioned, that I never really watched him closely enough; Though I did manage to learn a number of useful German curse words, in German, those only helped me out just slightly in tonight’s endeavor, in English.

I have mentioned before, that I recently lucked into a nice horde of wonderfully dangerous toys, all of which cramped into a wonderfully cramped and dangerous little workshop which I lovingly call “That F%^ing cramped and claustrophobic hellhole of certain impending doom where I am constantly banging my head into the doorway and various sharp-edged light fixtures”.

The circular saw, is not as good as his circular saw – which I do remember having been able to cut things much more precisely with. I really do not like the guide, which was specifically designed to make one wish they had gone $50 higher for the one with the built-in laser guide. So, after a few botched cuts, I turned to the table saw… a wondrous and splendid tool that does certainly manage to scare the living hell out of me.

I did succeed in leaving that stage with my hands and feet still well-connected, a feat I do hope to repeat on future uses – but I somehow ended up with a room full of smoke due to the density of the wood, leaving me to believe that I might have done something remarkably and ingeniously the wrong and dangerous way.

The boards did however cut exactly how I wanted them this time around – good enough I say!

I know that I want to be able to take the router to the edges, so screws and nails were out of the question… I want my connections to be more hidden and solid, and have no idea how to make those nifty little dovetail joints… something which could have been remedied with a brief internet search… That, however would not have been as satisfying.

Instead, once the wood glue dried on my sturdily-clamped wooden box, I decided to unclamp it, drill holes, and insert dowels; In this method, I managed to find just the perfect sized drill bit to make insertion of the dowels about as close to impossible as it could possibly be – without setting off those annoying common-sense nodes in my noggin.

I needed a nice hammer – and I found just the thing – A large and heavy hardwood bonking mallet – at least that is the technical term. So, I added glue to the dowels, and went to hammering.

Little did I know that a large bonking mallet could do as much, possibly more harm to a human hand than a standard metal hammer could do. Good thing I am right-handed, else I would have nailed my good hand with the thing.

So, now I have a large gash and a blood-blister the size of Uruguay on my swollen thumb. I do however have the World’s most stable and indestructible wooden box as a reward.

Tomorrow, I set out to make a lid for it – then there will be routing, and sanding, and hinges and brass things added – leaving me only the task of figuring out what the hell I made the box for…

… or maybe creating something to fit in it.

6 thoughts on “Midnight Wood and a Blistered Hand

  1. only you… I do hope that you recover from your adventure! i would hate to hear that the tools won the war. however, i would like to see a picture of the box that has now wounded its creator… if you think about it the next time you have the ole cam out.

    1. Ah yes,I had planned to – but I left my cel phone with Beth for the night and was too absorbed to go hunting for the camera. Will put up some pics soonish.

  2. I hope you don’t find this out: the router happens to be more dangerous than the table or circular saws. Just saying. Never mind ye olde bonking hammer.

    1. Well, fortunately I have the router mounted into a table – and that, unlike the table saw, actually has a guard on it and all. So – hopefully it won;t get away from me too easily. The Bonking hammer however, has no guards or tables attached to it – and I sense it still wants my blood.

  3. The best art is that for which we bleed.

    On a related note, I was planning to buy a circular saw to do some planter projects for the grounds of Schloss Shreck, and the other day my neighbor put one out by the curb with a “Free Take Me” sign on it!

    1. Nice :)

      Make sure it isn’t possessed…or make sure it *is* possessed, depending on your plans.

      Count your neighbors thumbs and fingers.

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